<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>and you can have this heart to hold by MarkedMage</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25511698">and you can have this heart to hold</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkedMage/pseuds/MarkedMage'>MarkedMage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Moon and All Her Stars [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Post-Canon, Zutara Week 2020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:48:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,548</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25511698</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkedMage/pseuds/MarkedMage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You got me a wolf."</p><p>"I did."</p><p>She searches his gaze, blue boring into gold. "Why?" She asks, voice soft like starlight.</p><p>He cups her cheek, and she leans in, eyes closing. When she opens them again, he's got a fond look on his face, a gentle, crooked smile, reserved only for her, touching his lips, and he strokes his thumb along the noble arch of her cheekbone.</p><p>"You know why," he murmurs, and leans in to kiss her again.</p><p>Zutara week, day six: Affirm</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katara/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Moon and All Her Stars [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827331</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Zutara Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and you can have this heart to hold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZutaraWasRobbed/gifts">ZutaraWasRobbed</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Zutara Week, Day six: Affirm.</p><p>This fic is a gift for ZutaraWasRobbed, a dear friend who helped me with this prompt when yours truly was brain dead and plagued with a case of writer's block. Thank you so much for giving me this idea, and I truly hope I did your story justice.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Affirm (verb): offer (someone) emotional support or encouragement </em>
</p><p>~0~</p><p>There are things they don't exactly teach you, growing up in the Fire Nation. As a boy, Zuko learned the languages of the world, the traditions of his people, and the prestige of being the Crown Prince. As a boy, he learned sword play, the intricacies of firebending, and the thrill of being a royal of the Fire Nation.</p><p>As a teenager, he learned what growing up meant. Growing up meant learning what it feels like to live in a sister's shadow, the struggle burning in his muscles as he fights to keep up. Growing up meant understanding that girls are weird, but also interesting, and finding out that Mai's eyes are the exact same shade as his father's crown. Growing up meant standing by his father's side, only to drown in a sea of flames, fire burning his face and melting any hope that lingered behind. Growing up meant finding out the world was cruel, and pain was his teacher.</p><p>Zuko is a young man now, and he is the Firelord of the Fire Nation. Something his father never wished to see, something Azula would have killed for, but neither are around to witness it, buried far away, with nothing but the cold, dead earth for company. </p><p>There's something different about the Fire Nation. A chilling sense of peace, so different from the cruel nationalistic beliefs that used to burn through every single citizen. But maybe, that's all it was, a false sense of bravado, fueled on by an insane king and a broken daughter.</p><p>There are things they don't teach you. Like the rotted roots of a lord whose kingdom is in pain, or the wretched cries of a people searching for salvation. These are the things that Zuko has learned, through the trials of blood, sweat and tears. </p><p>Zuko was always taught to fear change. <em> The Fire Nation is strong, </em> Ozai used to tell him. <em> We are strong because we are unwavering. We don't falter, even in the face of adversity. We are the adversity </em>.</p><p>Azula. <em> Don't show him you've changed </em> , she tells him, on the eve of his return. <em> You are the prince of the Fire Nation, servant to our supreme lord and father. You're not the ragged peasant I found wandering throughout the Earth Kingdom.  </em></p><p>Change. The act of making something completely different from what came before. It is an act Zuko is far too familiar with, memories of smoking fingers and seared flesh burned permanently into his person, of a ship floating across the ocean, searching in vain for a single being that could bring him deliverance. Change. Something he's been taught to fear, to avoid, but change, as he's learned, is sort of undeniable. </p><p>Change arrives in the Fire Nation like a much needed breath of fresh wind, as swift as a sparrowhawk and as prominent as the moon. Suddenly, it is upon Zuko's shoulders to bear the burden of the Fire Nation, and change comes in the coronation of the Firelord, in the form of a sleek golden crown bound to his head.</p><p>Change comes in the appointment of Katara as the Southern Water Tribe's ambassador, and Toph as the Gaoling ambassador. Change comes in the form of Sokka stepping up to take his place as the future Chieftain of the south.</p><p>And with that, the passing of the seasons, the implementation of new rule in the Fire Nation, and the growing up of the gang, and change suddenly has a new meaning for Zuko. To Zuko, change, which had once brought devastation and wrought chaos on his own heart, now brings hope and life, new beginnings and excitement for promises that only the future can bring. With Katara by his side, change brings good tidings.</p><p>(There's a fluttering in his chest, a little flicker in his heart like the gentle thrum of a sparrowkeet's wings at the mention of her name, a little skip in the melody of his heartbeat when he thinks of the blue of her eyes. He doesn't know what this means yet, but he knows that there's importance in the way his heart pounds when he thinks of her. Maybe one day he'll be able to decipher what it means, what she means to him.)</p><p>Sokka and Suki leave with the Water Tribe, and the farewell is nothing short of moving. Zuko and Aang stand to the side while Katara hugs Sokka and Hakoda. They hold her close, and Zuko looks at the family, his heart yearning for the closeness they have, the warmth they share in the span of their breaths. Aang watches him, eyes knowing, and elbows Zuko, hard.</p><p>"Ouch," Zuko hisses, rubbing his side. He glares at Aang, who gives him a crooked smile and his signature apology, but from the wicked glint in his eyes, Zuko can tell he's anything but. "What is your problem?"</p><p>Aang smiles. "You'll have that, someday," he nods towards Katara and her family. "I know you will."</p><p>Zuko frowns. "You're too optimistic," he grumbles. "The last of my family rots in a prison cell."</p><p>Aang shrugs. "You still have your Uncle," he reminds Zuko. "You still have me, and Katara, and Sokka. The entire gang is your family, Zuko, and don't you forget it."</p><p>Zuko sighs. "I know," he responds quietly, eyes still glued on the way Katara's hair falls over her shoulder as she murmurs to her brother. "It's just... nice to see Katara with her family again. It reminds me of happier times."</p><p>"We're in happier times now," Aang says. "And you can have it too, you know. The love they share."</p><p>(Is that even possible? His family was built on lies and deceit, a house whose very foundation was made out of cruelty. A father who burned a son for speaking out, a sister who marred his skin with hatred and insanity, and a mother, lost to the world.)</p><p>Zuko frowns, and Aang grins. "You might get it sooner than you think. Everyone here knows that Katara is very<em> , very </em> fond of you."</p><p>Zuko chokes, face going red. "W-what are you talking about?" he splutters, looking anywhere but at Katara. "She does not! And I thought you were trotting after her?"</p><p>Aang frowns. "You're not wrong," he murmurs, looking at Katara, who's got Sokka in a headlock, messing up his wolf tail. "I've always loved Katara, ever since she first pulled me from the iceberg. But ever since you joined us, I've noticed that the love she holds for me is different from the love she holds for you."</p><p>Zuko coughs. "She doesn't love me."</p><p>"And turtleducks can't swim," Aang deadpans, and Zuko rolls his eyes. "Come on, Zuko, everyone can see it but you. Katara doesn't treat you the way she does everyone else. And I think you know that you love her just as much."</p><p>Zuko frowns, but he looks back at Katara, who's hugging Bato while her father loads the ships. She starts, as if sensing his gaze, and turns to look at him, blue eyes soft when she sees him. A gentle smile touches the corners of her lips, her eyes warm, and Zuko's heart flutters.</p><p>(A fleeting touch, fingers whispering across the skin of his collarbone. A brief, fleeting burn of the eyes, drowning in pools of deep blue, a whispered <em> Zuko </em> kissing her lips. Katara's love, facets of a kaleidoscope, broken up into pieces of gentle, fond looks and soft, easy touches. Different from everyone else, but precious nonetheless.)</p><p>"I just want her to be happy," Zuko confesses as she turns back to Bato. "And I hope she'll be happy here."</p><p>"Of course she will," Aang says, hand clapping onto Zuko's shoulder. "She wouldn't have accepted the Water Tribe Ambassador position if she wasn't. And she's got you and Toph, and me for a short time, to keep her company. She'll be fine."</p><p>Zuko opens his mouth to reply, but Katara calls them over, and Aang grabs his hand. He lets Aang drag him over to Katara's family, and Sokka wordlessly tugs him into a hug.</p><p>"Take care of her," Sokka whispers into his ear, his arms tightening around Zuko. "For me?"</p><p>Zuko nods, gripping Sokka's shoulders. "You know better than anyone that Katara can handle herself. But I will. For you."</p><p>He offers Hakoda a firm handshake and sees him off. Sokka gives Katara one more hug before boarding the ship. Suki waves from her place on the stern, and Aang floats on his glider, bending a soft wind to help steer the boat out of the port. </p><p>Zuko sidles over to Katara, his arm finding her shoulder. "I'm here for you," he says, and she blinks, wiping away the tears pooling in her eyes, and tears her gaze from the shrinking boat. Zuko finds himself locked in her blue eyes, frozen in the space between her gaze and the warmth she holds for him. </p><p>"I know," she murmurs, and her hand finds its way into his. "Thank you."</p><p>He smiles, and pulls her into a hug. "Always."</p><p>A roar echoes in the distance, and Zuko lifts his gaze to the heavens, watches as a little blip appears in the sky, and Druk materializes. The dragon lands, softly for such a magnificent beast, and crawls over to where Katara and Zuko stand. His maw is hot and thick, rolling over the two of them like a thick blanket, and Zuko ruffles the fur at the back of the dragon's neck.</p><p>"And where have you been?" He asks good naturedly. The dragon groans, and nudges his hand. Druk is a spirited creature, never tied down, and often spends hours away from the palace, wandering the abyss of his domain. </p><p>"Hi Druk," Katara murmurs, and the sadness seeps away from her eyes as she steps forward, scratching at Druk's snout. His eyes cross with pleasure, and he lets out a little his of content, smoke curling from his nose. "It's good to see you."</p><p>Zuko watches Katara bond with Druk, the dragon curling his tail around her, and smiles. "He loves you," Zuko murmurs, and Katara's hand on Druk tightens. "You make him happy."</p><p>(<em> You make me happy.) </em></p><p>She looks over at him, drawing closer and leaning against him. "That's good," she murmurs, looking back out over the horizon. The sadness returns to her eyes, but Druk slides over and nudges her, and it fades just as quickly, happiness returning to her eyes as she scratches at his chin. Druk may not be Sokka, or the Water Tribe, but he's a good replacement in order to soothe the emptiness in her heart from her brother's absence.</p><p>(Zuko will do whatever it takes to make her happy.)</p><p>They stay there on the shore as the ship disappears from view. Even then, they don't move, and Zuko lets Katara lean into his warmth, holding her close and listening to the rapid fluttering of her heartbeat.</p><p>~0~</p><p>It's a few days later when Katara finds Zuko in his office. He looks up in alarm as she crashes through the doors, her chest heaving and her face red from exertion.</p><p>"Katara?" He murmurs, and she throws herself down into a chair, sighing heavily into her arm.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she mumbles, and Zuko hastily reaches for the pot of tea to his right, pouring her a cup, thankful he asked for chamomile earlier. She smiles wearily and accepts his offering, inhaling the fragrant aromas of the tea, and Zuko watches the tension bleed from her shoulders.</p><p>(He's reminded of a time when she hovered above him, eyes bleeding with tears and his blood drenching her hands, a desperate plea of <em> Zuko </em> chanting from her lips as she forces his heart to pump, to beat, to live. A loosening of the shoulders when she sees him gasp a breath, the tension bleeding away as he murmurs a <em> thank you.) </em></p><p>"Don't apologize," he says dryly. "You just saved me from a riveting piece on sewage piping in the city."</p><p>She coughs. "How lovely."</p><p>He smiles, and she sips her tea. "What's going on, Katara?" He asks, and she sighs, setting her tea down on the desk.</p><p>"I'm starting to wonder if this was a good idea, staying here," she murmurs, and Zuko's eyes widen in alarm. "I know I'm the ambassador for the Water Tribe, but I just feel so... Isolated, you know?"</p><p>"What do you mean?" Zuko asks hoarsely, and he watches her blue eyes fill with sadness. "Katara, you've been helping me so much here, I don't know what I'd do without you. You mean so much to me."</p><p>She sighs. "Sometimes I fear you're the only one who thinks that, Zuko," she says, and his eyes narrow.</p><p>"Who?" He asks, tone clipped and harsh, and her eyes widen.</p><p>"Zuko, I-" she protests, but Zuko lurches to his feet, chair wobbling from the force of his anger. </p><p>"Who is it, Katara," he growls through clenched teeth.</p><p>She sighs, eyes dropping in defeat. "Minister Chen," she mumbles, and Zuko nods, jotting down Chen's name so that he could speak to the minister later. "I was in the middle of a trade meeting with the ministers, and he suggested that my tribe would be happy with a lump of coal and some rotten fish for trade. When I argued with him, he called me a peasant and said that my tribe was pathetic and that we were all weak, and we should be grateful for whatever we get."</p><p>Zuko's heart slows as Katara speaks. His inner fire, which has always been a tempestuous beast, flares up in his anger, and he clenches his fists, feeling the smoke burning off his skin. </p><p>Katara stands. "Zuko, I don't care what he said about me," she says, walking around the desk to grab a hold of his arm. "You know that I can take care of myself." She smiles at him, slight, and Zuko's anger lessens, but her eyes are still dull with frustration.</p><p>"It just hurts because no matter what I-we've-done for this nation, I still feel as if I don't belong here."</p><p>"Katara," Zuko croaks, and he grabs at her wrist, lacing their fingers together. "You do belong here. I want you here."</p><p>She looks away. "You're the only one who thinks that. I'm not needed here, Zuko. Maybe I never was."</p><p>He shakes his head. "No," he declares, and her eyes widen. "You're wrong. You are needed here. Forget what that shitty minister said." He reaches out, cupping her cheek and turning her to face him. "The whole world knows who you are, and what you did. There are some in the Fire Nation who reject change. I know, because I used to be one of them. But it was you, Katara, you who helped open my eyes and embrace change. And it is you who is going to help me change the world, and the hearts of those in this nation who cannot see the new world. You are needed, despite what those who live in the past say." He lowers his voice. "I need you."</p><p>A shudder crawls it's way down her spine, and she leans closer to Zuko. "I want to stay," she murmurs, her head resting against his shoulder. She's close enough that he can feel her lips brushing against his collar, smell the fresh firelily soap on her skin. "I just miss home."</p><p>He holds her close. "I know," he says. "I'm sorry."</p><p>She shakes her head. "You have nothing to apologize for," she says firmly. "These ministers have me feeling a weird way. I just miss Sokka, that's all. I'm sure I'll get over it." She pulls away, and the moment is over; Zuko can see the walls she puts up in her eyes, watches the vulnerability fade away behind a layer of forced bravery, a facade of resilience in the wake of unhappiness and hesitation. She smiles, but it's tight-lipped, forced, and she pulls away. "Thanks Zuko. I'll be fine."</p><p>She walks away, opening the door to Zuko's office, and Zuko's eyes follow her as she leaves. The image of her sad eyes is burned into the back of his mind, the clear confusion making his heart slow.</p><p>Katara can't leave, he thinks, sinking into his chair. But what can he do? If she's unhappy, he won't force her to stay here, no matter how much he needs her. But to hear the Minister treat her in such a matter is troublesome, and Zuko does not like people of such status hurting someone so dear to him. He frowns, summoning a servant to fetch Chen to his quarters.</p><p>He banishes Chen from the palace, effective immediately. He ignores the pleading and crying as the minister is dragged from the room, instead opts to rub his temples and pour a cup of tea.</p><p>Toph finds him a little later, still slumped in his chair. She sits on his desk and thumps him on the shoulder, in pure Toph fashion, and he grunts, pouring her some tea.</p><p>"What's got you in a tizzy, Sparky?" Toph asks, and Zuko rolls a lazy glare in her direction. </p><p>"A minister was being an ass," he grumbles, reaching for his cup. "I had to set an example."</p><p>"Bullshit," Toph scoffs. "I heard what happened between Chen and Katara. You sent him away because of how he hurt her."</p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes. "So what if I did," he grunts. "It's still completely unacceptable for a minister to treat an ambassador in that manner."</p><p>Toph grins cheekily. "Sure," she says. "But this is Katara we're talking about. The waterbender who can level an entire village with just a flick of her hand. She can take care of herself. Face it, Sparky, you exiled Chen because he insulted the girl you love."</p><p>Damnit, he can't hide anything from Toph. She grins, and taps at her feet. "Come on, Sparky, admit it. These feet don't lie."</p><p>He leans back in his chair, heaving an exasperated sigh. "Okay, Toph, say I did, what else do you want me to say? Katara is my best friend. An insult to her is an insult to me. I had to do something."</p><p>"Sure you did. That doesn't explain why you're not happy right now."</p><p>"I'm never happy."</p><p>"Oh shut it," she says, punching him in the shoulder. </p><p>He sighs. "It's... Katara told me that Chen said some pretty nasty things to her, and that she doesn't feel at home here. I don't want to keep Katara here if she truly doesn't feel like she belongs, but I need her here, by my side."</p><p>"Have you thought about telling her that?"</p><p>He shifts in his seat. "I did," he says. "But I could still tell that Chen's words affected her. I'll support her if she goes, but I really want her to know she does have a place here." He sighs. "She misses Sokka. But I just don't want some shitty minister's cruel words thinking she has to leave here just because of it."</p><p>"What if you write to Sokka?" Toph suggests, and Zuko shoots up, eyes wide. "He might have some kind of idea to help you convince her to stay."</p><p>"Toph, you're brilliant," he gasps, and hugs her. She groans, wiggling from his grasp and jumps from the desk.</p><p>"Yes, yes, I know," she spits, but her tone holds no venom, and there's a glint of fire in her milky eyes. "I'm brilliant, a genius, a gem among people. You can kiss my feet now."</p><p>He groans. "Maybe not," he supplies, and she cackles. "I wouldn't want to give your feet a show they can't unsee."</p><p>Her grin is absolutely wicked as she makes for the door. "Oh Lord Sparky," she says, opening the door. "You're treading on dangerous waters."</p><p>He laughs, and she leaves him, his heart happier than it has been before she got there. He gets up, cracking a window, and looks down on his mother's garden. Katara is down there, gently bending the water in the turtleducks' pond, and his eyes grow soft as he watches her. She looks so at ease in the garden, almost like she was meant to stay there, and something tugs at his heart.</p><p>Druk flies over head, and Katara raises her head to watch his dragon land on the ground and slither his way over to her. Zuko's heart swells with fondness when Katara laughs, reaching for the dragon and scratching his head. Druk loves Katara, has loved her since Zuko first got him, and Zuko thinks Druk would be heartbroken if she left.</p><p>(Hearts shattered, scattered in little pieces at the mess she'll leave behind. Pieces of Druk's, pieces of Zuko's, scattered across the Fire Nation, trailing after a girl of water who carries the remains of what's left of his heart in her hands.)</p><p>Change, an act that Zuko is all too familiar with, this time, one he is not willing to follow through. If Katara leaves, everything changes; his court will fail, the ministers will not listen to reason, and Zuko will lose his closest ally and best friend. He cannot lose Katara.</p><p>He sits down in his office, finding a spare sheet of paper, and furiously begins to write.</p><p>
  <em> Sokka- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I need your help. Katara doesn't feel at home here in the Fire Nation, and I need your help. I won't force her to stay here if she truly feels she doesn't belong, but deep down in my gut I know this to be wrong. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Is there anything in the South Pole that you could send here to help remind her of her home? I'd like to show her that she can carry a piece of her homeland with her wherever she goes, and maybe this can help her feel more grounded here. Thoughts? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And please, please, for the love of Agni. Don't send tiger-seal jerky. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Zuko </em>
</p><p>He doesn't expect an answer to take long, but weeks go by without Sokka's response, which makes Zuko frown every time he visits the aviary, only to find it empty. He's got half a mind to take Druk down to the South Pole, to storm up to Sokka and <em> demand </em>answers, but well, Sokka is Sokka and will probably just chuck a snowball in his direction.</p><p>(Or a boomerang. Zuko remembers the last time Sokka chucked that thing at him, and <em> spirits </em>, it hurt. He's got half a mind to ban all boomerangs from the world just to spite Sokka, but knowing him, the Water Tribe boy would simply laugh and whack him with one. Again.)</p><p>Just when Zuko feels like he's going to explode from impatience, he receives his answer, just, well, not exactly in the form he was expecting. A letter perhaps, or an envoy maybe, but not this.</p><p>There is a wriggling wolf pup in his lap, squirming and whining and trying to eat everything in sight (Zuko's hands included), and Zuko doesn't really know what to do. He grabs at the letter that accompanied the wolf, keeping it out of reach of the slimy fangs, and reads, a headache forming as he tries to decipher Sokka's nearly illegible scrawl.</p><p>
  <em> Hi Jerkbender!!! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Suki says I should stop calling you that, being that you're the Firelord and all, but considering the fact that Toph still gets the right to call you 'Sparky', I still get to claim 'Jerkbender'. So, heyo Jerkbender! How's the jerkbending going? </em>
</p><p>Zuko rubs his temple, and the wolf cub whines. He looks down at the scrawny creature, watching it nibble at his robes, and raises a brow. "Did he give you this much grief too?" he asks.</p><p>The cub whines. Zuko snorts.</p><p>
  <em> As you can see, I've enclosed a gift for you. Well, for Katara, for you. You asked me to help remind Katara of her homeland, I'm doing you one better. This is an icewolf pup- they're super rare and hard to find. We had a mother wolf who died recently, leaving her litter behind. The rest of the pups were distributed across the entire tribe, but this one-a shewolf- is the runt of the litter. I figured she'd be perfect for Katara. Icewolfs are hardy and beautiful creatures, they grow as big as direwolves and have a distinct silver-white coat that blends in the ice and snow down here. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Her name is Siku. The children here named her, but Katara is welcome to change her name as she sees fit. Give her Siku, and let her know that she'll always carry a piece of me with her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Also, by the way, you should probably marry her before someone else does. I won't approve of anyone else but you, just so you know. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Suki just yelled at me for writing that. She says, 'take all the time you need to find the right person, Zuko'. Don't tell her I disagree with her, just hurry up and marry my sister sooner or later, Jerkbender! </em>
</p><p>Zuko sighs, dropping the letter on his desk and rubbing at his temples. The wolf pup whines, circling on Zuko's lap and making an absolute <em> mess </em> of his robes, and flops down. He sighs, running his fingers through it's thick fur, and the wolf yawns, revealing shining needle-like teeth, and he can't help but smile.</p><p>His eyes linger on Sokka's messy scrawl, <em> marry </em> burning it's imprint on Zuko's brain. Sokka is officially the third person to bring up his and Katara's relationship-whatever it may be, and he wonders how obvious his feelings are, if maybe she can sense it too.</p><p>He sighs. Azula would have had a field day with this. She meddled in his relationship with Mai for far too long, who knows what would happen if she found out her brother was in love with the Water Tribe "peasant". </p><p>Marriage. He thinks about Katara, and thinks about what it would be like married to her. It would be a drastic change in both of their lives, one he actually finds quite pleasing to think about. Katara is a caring friend, and he thinks being married to her would be an incredibly fulfilling life. He imagines spending every day waking up to her, running his hands through her thick brown hair and being able to hold her hand.</p><p>(Katara has wormed her way into his heart, little by little, making a home within him with each gentle smile, with each lingering brush of her fingers against his temple. Living with Katara has become second nature to him, as easy and as crucial as it is breathing.)</p><p>He sighs. Now is not the time to be thinking of marital life with Katara. No matter his feelings, no matter what he thinks Katara may also be feeling, he needs to first make sure she wants to stay in the Fire Nation, stay by his side. Only afterwards, if she wants to stay, does Zuko think he has a chance on watching this relationship bloom.</p><p>He picks up the pup, ignoring it's complaints as it's jostled from his lap, and sets a determined pace down the hall. Servants scurry out of his way, bowing profusely, and if any of them are wondering why Zuko has a slobbering, wiggling, white wolf pup in his arms, they do not mention it.</p><p>He knocks on Katara's doors, waiting for her <em> enter </em>, before he opens it. She's sitting at her desk, going over a few documents, and he watches her for a moment, eyes soft as he looks at her, before the wriggling pup in his arms returns him to the present.</p><p>(He tries to ignore the image seared into his brain, of Katara with the Firelady crown in her hair, ring on her finger and betrothal necklace at her throat. A vision, so intense and so clear, burning into his heart with the strength of his desire.)</p><p>Katara doesn't look up, but she does smile when he enters. "Hi, Zuko," she murmurs, as familiar with his footsteps as he is with hers, so used to each other's presence after ages spent on the run. "What can I help you with?"</p><p>He responds by dumping the pup into her arms. The wolf yelps, and Katara gasps, starting in surprise, but her arms immediately rise around the pup to keep it from falling.</p><p>(Katara. Protector. Nurturer. Mother of wolves and the keeper of Zuko's heart.)</p><p>She looks up, her mouth forming a little <em> oh </em>of surprise, and Zuko smiles. "It's for you," he tells her, and his heart gives a little jolt of pleasure at the way her eyes light up in wonder, the way her fingers cling to the pup's fur and the absolute delight painted across her face.</p><p>Katara is absolutely delighted with the pup. It warms Zuko's heart to see the gentle smile gracing Katara's features, and his heart flutters at the joy in her blue eyes. The pup squirms, <em> delighted, </em> and wriggles in her grasp, licking at her face, and she laughs.</p><p>"Zuko!" She exclaims, standing up with the pup in her arms. She wraps Zuko in a one-armed hug, and Zuko buries his face into her ocean hair. "Where in Tui's name did you get her?"</p><p>"You know how you told me how lonely you felt, how you felt like you didn't belong here?" He asks, and she pulls away, frowning in confusion. "I wrote to Sokka," he confesses, and her eyes widen. "I asked him for some help, something from home that could make you feel better, so you could find some familiarity while staying here in the Fire Nation. I expected one of your fur rugs maybe, or the beads your tribe makes from shells, but Sokka outdid himself, and sent this wolf pup instead."</p><p>Her mouth opens in a silent <em> oh, </em>and she looks down at the pup, fingers softly brushing through the pup's thick fur. She whines softly, and licks Katara's hand. "She's an icewolf," Katara murmurs, and the pup yips. "They're very rare, and highly valued in the South Pole. How in the name of the spirits did Sokka get one?"</p><p>Zuko coughs, rubbing at the back of his neck, face burning. "According to Sokka," he says, not meeting Katara's curious gaze. "A mother wolf wandered into the village and died, leaving her litter. The tribe took the rest of the cubs, but Siku here was the runt. Sokka sent her here so that you could always carry a piece of him, and the South, with you, wherever you go."</p><p>Katara smiles, and pulls Siku up, nuzzling her soft fur. "Thank you, Sokka," she murmurs. Then she looks up, eyes soft, and leans into Zuko's chest, making his heart skip. "And thank you too, Zuko."</p><p>He shrugs, wildly trying to tame the frantic stammering of his heart, feeling his neck and face flush. "It's nothing," he says, throat dry. "I didn't do much, Sokka was the one who sent you the wolf."</p><p>She smiles. "True, but you were the one who cared enough about me to ask Sokka for help," she points out, eyes warm. "Thank you, Zuko. It was so thoughtful." She looks down at the pup, who has calmed and is curled up in the crook of her elbow. "She's beautiful. My little Siku."</p><p>"What does it mean?" He asks. "Her name?"</p><p>Katara smiles. "It mean 'Ice', in Water Tribe," she murmurs. She strokes the little pup, eyes soft. "My little icewolf." She looks up at Zuko, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips, and leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Zuko's mouth. "Thank you, Zuko."</p><p>He smiles, heart fluttering under her fingers. "Anything for you," he murmurs, and she leans in. "I just want you to be happy."</p><p>She grins. "I'm happy now."</p><p>Zuko stares down at her, his heart skipping a beat at the tender look in Katara eyes. <em> Marry her, </em> Sokka's voice in his head whispers. He can't marry her, not yet, but he does do this.</p><p>He leans in, closing the distance between their lips, cupping her cheek. Her eyes go wide, and her mouth parts, a whimper of surprise and a startled gasp, but leans in, kissing Zuko. </p><p>Siku yaps, but Zuko leans in further, pulling Katara close and memorizing the taste of her lips against his, the smooth flutter of her eyelashes on his skin, the softness of her touch as she murmurs, pushing in closer to his warmth. </p><p>Zuko has kissed two women before Katara. One was Mai, and she kissed him in the same manner as she appeared, a brief peck on the lips, short, succinct, punctual. The other, a young Fire Nation noblewoman at one of the many events after his coronation. A brief, drunken affair of mashed lips and heated breath, mussed hair and sweat pooling on his brow.</p><p>Kissing Katara, is different. Kissing Katara feels to Zuko like a soft rain after a warm summer day. Like the universe handpicked all the very best flavors the earth could produce and let it swell through his soul. Katara sighs, and the warmth of her lips draws Zuko closer, drowning him in a universe of forever, dwelling in the heat of Katara's blue blue eyes.  </p><p>He pulls away, and her eyes open, a deep, dark blue that reminds Zuko of the sky right before dawn, an inky navy right before the peach of Agni kisses the horizon.</p><p>"Zuko," she murmurs.</p><p>"Katara."</p><p>She touches her lips, a reverent flutter of fingertips tracing over her well kissed mouth, and her lips part. She steps closer, and Siku jumps to the ground, forgotten, and flops at their feet.</p><p>"You kissed me," she says, and he takes her hand, fingers twining with hers.</p><p>"I did."</p><p>She blinks, steps in closer, her lips brushing his ever so slightly. Their breath mingles, and he feels her eyelashes brush up against his cheeks, the slight touch of her nose against his skin.</p><p>"You got me a wolf."</p><p>"I did."</p><p>She searches his gaze, blue boring into gold. "Why?" She asks, voice soft like starlight.</p><p>He cups her cheek, and she leans in, eyes closing. When she opens them again, he's got a fond look on his face, a gentle, crooked smile reserved only for her touching his lips, and he strokes his thumb along the noble arch of her cheekbone.</p><p>"You know why," he murmurs, and leans in to kiss her again.</p><p>(<em> You're important to me.) </em></p><p>~0~</p><p>When Zuko returns to his apartments that night, his shoulders are stiff and tense, and there's a throb beginning in his temples and threatens to stay there all night. He sighs, locking the doors behind him, and walks to his bedroom, shucking his robes.</p><p>"Uh," a voice says, and he looks up, startled. Katara is there, on his bed, making every single fantasy he's ever imagined run <em> rampant</em>, and her eyes are wide, flush blooming across her cheeks. "Hi."</p><p>"Katara!" He yelps, furiously tugging his tunic back over his shoulders, eyes wide and face burning. Katara is slackjawed, and he just now notices little Siku squirming in his sheets, and beyond, Druk lays, one taloned paw comically covering his eyes.</p><p>"Sorry," Katara murmurs, shifting on his coverlet. Zuko's eyes follow the movement, noting the smooth slope of her jaw, and how her dress is mussed, exposing the unblemished skin of her collarbone. "I didn't mean to startle you."</p><p>"What are you doing here?" He asks, joining her on the bed. Now that the adrenaline of the moment has calmed down (although his brain is having <em> other </em> ideas), he's concerned. His eyes rove over her form, looking for any signs of wounds, her eyes for any sadness, but she lays a hand on his arm, pulling him close and wrapping him up in the heat of her.</p><p>(Katara smells like the sand and the sea surrounding Ember Island. Fresh saltwater clings to her skin, the warmth of the sun-kissed sand and the sea breeze that whispers of change.)</p><p>"Katara?" He murmurs, but she shakes her head, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing," she murmurs, and Siku squeals, squirming towards Zuko. He picks her up and pulls her in between their warmth, and the wolf hiccups, curling her tail through Zuko's fingers while shoving her snout in Katara's arm. </p><p>Katara hugs him tighter. "I'm just happy," she murmurs. "You make me feel so welcome."</p><p>He sags into her, turning his head to press a kiss to her hair. "You deserve it," he says, and she pulls away. He looks into the galaxies of her eyes, endless seas he would <em> gladly </em>drown in, and his heart flutters.</p><p>"You're important to me," he tells her, this time with his voice and not his heart. Her eyes widen, then crinkle around the edges as she smiles, and he leans down, pressing a kiss to her lips.</p><p>She pulls away, and looks down at Siku, eyes soft as she runs her fingers through soft white fur. "I can't thank you enough for this gift, Zuko" she. whispers "These past few days have reminded me of all the things I treasure in this life, all thanks to you for giving me a little piece of my homeland." </p><p>He cups her cheek, turning her face back up to him, and smiles. "Anything," he says. "I'd do anything to show you your worth. You know that."</p><p>She snuggles into his warmth, face buried in his chest, and Zuko looks over at Druk. The dragon gives him a baleful glare from behind his claws. Zuko grins at the dragon, and Druk snorts, turning his head and raising a wing, covering the dragon's face from view.</p><p>Katara pulls away, moves to shift Siku onto the mattress next to her. Then she looks up, her ocean blue gaze boring into Zuko, stripping him bare, and her lip quivers.</p><p>"Can I stay here?" She asks. Zuko's frowns, and her hand finds it's way to Zuko's tunic, curling into the red silk. "I just...I sleep better when I'm with you."</p><p>(A campfire burns. A boy draped in yellow snuggles against the bulk of a giant bison. A boy of water and a warrior girl wrapped in each other's arms. And a girl from the Water Tribe, nestled against his warmth, fingers curled in his tunic, breathing evenly against his neck as the fire flickers, and Team Avatar rests easy.)</p><p>Zuko smiles, leans in, and kisses her forehead. "Of course. You don't even need to ask."</p><p>They move Siku next to Druk, who grumbles as he takes on the role of duitful babysitter, but Zuko sees the warm glint in the golden sclera of his eyes as he wraps his scaly tail around the little pup. Katara croons, scratching Siku's fur, presses a soft kiss to Druk's snout, and then takes Zuko's hand.</p><p>He gives her a robe to wear, and she turns while he undreses. She blushes at his lack of clothing, and he whispers, "Is this okay?" Her eyes rove over the scar on his chest, fingers rising to trace over the scar painted over his skin, and he closes his eyes, leaning against his weight.</p><p>"It is," she whispers, and he tugs her forward, pulling under the soft sheets. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close, parting her robe to place featherlight kisses against her throat. He nudges the pendant around her neck, and she gasps, fingers digging into his scalp.</p><p> Zuko flicks his hand, and the candlelight flickers and dies, the light dying in the room until only the moonlight remains. Katara kisses his cheek, wraps her arms around him, and sighs. "Good night, Zuko," she murmurs.</p><p>"Good night."</p><p>(Wrapped in Katara's arms, surrounded by her presence, with a wolf cub and a dragon watching over them, Zuko surrenders to the flutter of his heart, gives in to the longing, and presses a kiss to her hair. <em> This</em>, he thinks. <em> This feels a little like love.) </em></p><p>~0~</p><p>Sokka lied. Siku does not grow to the size of a direwolf. She does not grow to the size of Druk, who stands a little over ten feet tall, twenty feet when his wings are fully extended. </p><p>Siku grows taller than Druk. As the days go by, the white wolf grows, almost as if by the <em> foot, </em> and soon, she's towering over Druk by at least five feet, basically a whole Toph, and she's a slobbering, goofy, monster of a creature, but she <em> loves </em>Katara and Zuko like her life depends on it.</p><p>He's going to have to get new robes made. Not only does she slobber all over his robes the minute she sees him, but he accidentally left the doors to his apartments open one day, and came back later to find his wardrobe overturned, his bed sheets crumpled, and his robes used as chew-toys.</p><p>"I've heard stories that they can grow as big as houses," Katara tells him one night, tangled in the sheets, giant wolf lying at the bedside. "I didn't think they were true, but spirits." She looks fondly at Siku, who looks up, tail thumping, and Zuko's crown falls off the nightstand.</p><p>He pinches his nose. "Sokka lied to me," he grumbles, and the wolf inches over, whining, and places her head on his lap. What's supposed to be a gesture of comfort and affection turns into an assassination attempt, and it takes Katara a few seconds to pull Siku off Zuko's spasming form. He coughs, choking and sucking in air through his thoroughly crushed chest, and Siku has the audacity to lick his cheek.</p><p>"Siku," he groans, wiping at his face with the ever present towel at his bedside. The wolf whines, leaning down, and he rubs his fingers through her soft fur, sighing. Katara settles, eyes bright with amusement, and he lies back.</p><p>"She loves you," Katara points out. </p><p>Zuko grunts. "Sure, if love means a collapsed lung."</p><p>She laughs, and cuddles up to him, pulling him close. She's been joining him in his bedchamber ever since he brought her Siku, sliding under the silk sheets and nestling in the crook of Zuko's arm. A whisper of <em> this is home </em> and Zuko is content.</p><p>There is no trouble from the ministers. Now that Chen is gone, the ministers are placid, malleable, and Katara is no longer besieged by dark looks and sinister mutterings.</p><p>He receives a letter from Sokka.</p><p>
  <em> Jerkbender- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You got the wolf. Now get the girl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sokka </em>
</p><p>It makes him laugh, and he wanders out to the palace gardens, where he finds Katara curled up with a book, abandoned, on her lap, and Siku and Druk romp playfully. He winces when he sees Siku smash some of the carved statues of his people, but maybe he can entice Toph with some firewhiskey later to fix it.</p><p>"Hi," Katara says, eyes bright, as he wanders over. She reaches out a hand, smiling, and Zuko takes it, dropping down to sit next to you. "How are you?" </p><p>"Tired," he admits, and Siku and Druk make their way over, each lying next to their respective master's sides. Druk groans, nudging Zuko's hand, and sends Siku a baleful glance.</p><p>"Druk's a little jealous," Katara says, winking. Siku whines, tail wagging and pants heavily into Katara's shoulder. "I think he's a bit upset that Siku's bigger than him."</p><p>Zuko laughs, and scratches at Druk's snout. "Is that it?" He asks, looking down at his dragon. "Are you jealous?" </p><p>Druk pointedly turns away, and Siku barks. Zuko laughs, grabbing at Druk's horn. "Come on, Druk," he laughs, and the dragon glances at him mournfully. "You're still my good boy. My best boy."</p><p>The dragon blinks, smoke pouring from his nostrils, and Zuko laughs. "Good boy," he says, and the dragon grumbles in affirmation.</p><p>He looks over to Katara, who is scratching at Siku's neck. She murmurs, "Don't worry, you're the best girl, <em> my </em> best girl," and it makes Zuko smile. Siku barks, loud enough to make the ground tremble (a terrifying feat if Toph were to get a hold of her), and her tail thumps, dislodging a few of the decorative rocks surrounding the pond. They land in the water with a resounding <em> splash, </em>and the turtleducks squawk in alarm.</p><p>Katara laughs. "Good girl, good Siku," she says, and flicks her hand. The water in the pond rises, gathering the fallen boulders and returning them to their place around the pond. </p><p>Zuko gives Druk a glance. <em> Don't even think about it, </em>he thinks, and the dragon grunts, getting to his feet.</p><p>The animals run off again, Siku barking and making a general mess of the garden, but Druk spreads his wings and takes off, circling overhead. Siku howls and gives chase, leaping in the air, but Druk stays out of reach, a playful glint in his molten eyes.</p><p>"Well even if Siku is bigger than Druk," Zuko begins, and Katara leans into his shoulder. "He's got wings. Siku can't beat that."</p><p>Katara laughs, her shoulders shaking. "True," she murmurs, and takes his hand. "He is quite magnificent."</p><p>It's silent for a moment, a little slice of tranquility despite the stampede occuring around them. Zuko takes in the scenery, breathes in the fresh air, and relishes the softness of Katara's hand in his, the smell of her Jasmine perfume at her throat. He could get used to this, he realizes. Ruling a nation with her at his side.</p><p>"Thank you," she murmurs, turning to look at him. "Thank you for giving me Siku, for reminding me of my homeland and giving me a little piece of Sokka to keep with me. Thank you, Zuko, for everything. You make me feel so loved."</p><p>He smiles, leans forward so their foreheads are touching. "You're important to me," he whispers. "I know how much your homeland means to you, and how much you miss the South Pole. I just wanted you to know how much I care for you, and how much I wanted you to be happy. Siku makes you happy. That's all I've ever wanted."</p><p>She touches his scar, presses soft fingertips against his calloused skin. "You're a good person, Zuko," she whispers. "Thank you for making me feel so welcome here, even though some may not."</p><p>He shudders. "I want this to be your home," he confesses. "<em> I </em>want to be your home. I need you, right now more than ever. And I'll never stop trying to make you happy, trying to make you feel like you belong. Because you do." He kisses her, a brief flutter of lips, and pulls away, stares into her wide blue eyes. "You belong with me."</p><p>She smiles. "<em> This </em>," she murmurs. She looks around, to where Siku barks and whines, where Druk hovers over the courtyard, where the plants sway and the earth rumbles, before finally looking back at Zuko, eyes warm and bright. "This is home." </p><p>~0~</p><p>More meetings and council's had unfortunately torn him from his peaceful sanctuary by Katara's side. Having been unable to join Katara for dinner, he'd scarfed down a plain meal of rice and tea, still working in his office, until his candle had burnt out and his hand seized up from the quill. Only then, did he stir, stretching and yawning, and made for his chambers.</p><p>When Zuko finally makes it up the stairs to his apartments a little while later, after closing up his office, he's tired and albeit slightly grumpy from the long day. But once he's opened the door to his bedroom, robe already sliding halfway off his shoulders, his heart lightens at the sight before him.</p><p>Druk is slumped against the wall, his massive wings slotted against his body, deep groans emanating from his body as he sleeps. Next to him, an even larger, more imposing hulk, is Siku, curled up, her white fur glowing silver in the moonlight. Both creatures, despite curled up on the floor, on the opposite side of the room, are smushed up against the bed, Druk curled around Siku, and Siku's snout is resting on the bed, her nose resting near Katara's head, and the waterbender curled around her.</p><p>Katara sleeps quietly, as always, her chest rising and falling with even gasps as she nuzzles into Siku's side. The wolf stirs slightly at Zuko's appearance, one blue eye slitting open, but her tail wags once she recognizes him. Zuko changes quickly into his sleeping pants before clambering up onto the bed. He scratches Siku's head, making her whine, and then cuddles up against Katara's back, propped up so he could look down on her.</p><p>Siku whines. "I know," Zuko whispers fondly, twining a lock of Katara's hair through his fingers. "I love her too."</p><p>Katara murmurs in her sleep, and Zuko smiles, kissing her cheek softly. She moans, and cuddles closers, unfortunately, to Siku, not to him. He blinks, astonished, and Siku has the audacity to look <em> smug </em>, her tail thumping and eyes gleaming.</p><p>Zuko shakes his head. "I can't believe it," he mutters, lying down and pulling the covers up. "A perfectly good chance to cuddle and she chooses to cuddle with the wolf. Oh spirits."</p><p>But one look at Katara, curled up in his bed with Siku by her side, and his heart melts. "Whatever," he breaths, cuddling into her from behind, wrapping an arm around her stomach. He presses up against Sika, who pants, and he closes his eyes. Nosing the nape of Katara's neck, he inhales the scent of ice and wind on her skin, and settles down. "As long as we're here together." </p><p>There are some things in life that can't be taught. Zuko has learned much from the people who have shaped his life, from his mother's telling him to be strong, to Azula, teaching him how to stand up to adversity despite being the inferior sibling. From Ozai, branding a permanent stain on his face for standing up for those who have no voice, to Uncle, who showed him what true Fire Nation honor looked like.</p><p>Ozai taught him to fear change, to fear a thing that would stand in the way of his path of destruction. But there are things that Ozai could never have taught, things like the warmth of a waterbender's smile, an airbenders stout devotion, and a family he always wanted.</p><p>Ozai could have never taught him about change. Change is unavoidable, and Ozai feared it, made his son fear it. But Zuko is not Ozai's son, not anymore. He is a prince of the Fire Nation, best friend of the Avatar, and the beloved of the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe.</p><p>Change, a steadfast and permanent fixture in Zuko's life. Change has brought pain and heartbreak, self-identification and restored honor. Change has brought a girl whose got oceans in her blood and sky in her eyes. A dragon, a wolf, and a flame of gold, all changes that have brought significance in Zuko's life. Change, something that once brought pain and destruction, has a new meaning to Zuko, one that brings joy and happiness, and it comes in the clear blue shade of Katara's happy eyes.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Btw, there's some lovely artwork that I took inspiration from when writing this fic! The wonderful Astrocitosart drew <a href="https://astrocitosart.tumblr.com/post/620857125287182336">this</a> beautiful piece, which inspired the ending scene!</p><p>Hope you all enjoyed it. Stay tuned tomorrow for the final installment of my first ever ZK week! Hope I did these lovelies justice!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>